"The Fatter the Fitter"

“The fatter the fitter"

By

J.L. Gupta

I HAVE a big mouth. A bigger appetite. Yet, once upon a time, I was thin as a reed. Most of my bones could be seen and felt. I could have been hired to act as a moving skeleton' in a horror movie. I could have made a reasonable living as a "scare crow".

         
And all this despite a voracious appetite. An insatiable greed for food. Normally, as the saying goes, "one should eat to live". But I have really lived to eat. I have always believed that the inno­cent luxury of a good table is meant to be enjoyed. A sumptuous dish has to be devoured. A hearty appetite is a part of human liberty. The human body has the capacity and the tenacity to bear most of our indiscretions. The human metabolism can never change. Abuse the body to determine the optimum.

However, my belief turned out to be an illusion. I was only living in "food's paradise". I was wrong. The wheel of change is always on the move. Nothing stays forever. Yesterday is not today. Age has the inevitable effect. The change was unavoidable. It came. Initially, it was slow. Yet perceptible. Soon, it began to show. It was visible. I was beginning to get filled up. Mostly, in the wrong places. Before long, I had a double chin. Despite a conscious desire and even attempt to resist the temptation to indulge, I could see the appearance of the bulge. The circumference was ever increasing. Before long, I looked like my big "pillow".

When the middle begins to expand, the middle age sets in. I was not prepared to accept it. Something had to be done. Operation "girth con­trol" was an immediate necessity.

I resolved. To "eschew" food. To be on a diet. To eat food as one takes medicine. By weight and measure. And I gave it a serious trial. For a month, I followed a strict regimen. I ate less. In moderation. Sometimes, I virtu­ally starved myself of even the sight of a sumptuous meal.

The sacrifice aroused no visible sympathy in the mind of my wife. And the law only provides against cruelty to animals. Anyone who starves a cow can be in trouble. However, a wife who will­ingly allows her husband to starve is absolutely immune. She violates no law. Even when she teasingly eats everything that you relish. You helplessly watch her smother food in the hope that someday things will happen your way. But all in vain.

That day does not dawn. After a month, all that I had lost was my "temper". The only thing that got thinner was my hair. The mirror disappoint­ed me. The photographer did no justice. My pho­tographs looked exactly like me. Too bad. I had almost lost my patience. I was about to give up and resume my fond friendship with food. I was persuaded to just see the doctor. I did. Went through the checks and pricks. At the end of three days, I was given three things. A diet chart,  a lec­ture on the importance of exercise, and a fat bill on which the tests as well as the fees were fully listed.

         Would the prescription make as big a dent in me as the bill had in my purse?

         I am an incorrigible optimist. I do not let disap­pointment defeat me easily. I decided to go through another period of agony. Insipid soups. Salads without any sauce. No bread and butter. No prathas. No pullao. No pudding! And yet, no gain. What was I trying to achieve? Adding years to my life? What good are the years without any life in them? I asked myself. Reluctant to accept defeat, I still persisted. Took a little food and long walks. Still, the mirror did not flatter me. In fact, it appeared that my eyes and lips provided the only source of colour to the face. 

Has an elephant ever died of a heart attack? Is not the fatter one, the merrier one? These ques­tions crossed my mind. A hungry man is an angry man. The starved look sick. The fat man has such a presence. He can never get lost even in a crowd. He is the life of a party. Too heavy to run. Too fat to fight. Unable to bend, the fat man can never stoop too low. Honorable ladies will kindly excuse.

Thus, I convinced myself about the utter folly of my effort. The total futility of the entire exercise was so obvious. It had only left me poorer. Financially and physically.

And so the food and fat are back. I am feeling better. In fact, fatter and fitter. Why not? God's graces have to be gracefully accepted and grate­fully enjoyed. Including food. It is a sin to starve "yourself."

So, let yourself' go. Eat and enjoy. Do not worry about what you eat. Take care of what is eating you. Be happy. Get fat and feel fit. The fatter you are, the fitter you will feel. Good luck. Good looks!!