Stop Worrying. Start Playing!

‘Stop Worrying. Start Playing!’

By

J. L. Gupta

           A word of caution at the outset. This piece is about a four letter word. If you are young and your parents have trained you to be a prude, please do not proceed any further. If you are old and a hypocrite, then too, please shut down your device.

The word is ‘GOLF’. It is the game of balls, strokes, putts and holes. Each letter is meaningful. ‘G’ is as in girl?. ‘O’ as in ogling? ‘L’? Love?  F’? I do not know what you are imagining. To me,  G is green. O out in the open. L is long shot. To me, F only means fairway.

In sober & sophisticated society, Golf has been described as a “precision club and ball sport in which competing players or (golfers )use many types of clubs to hit balls  into a series of holes on a course.” The game has also been described “as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.’ It is one of the few games where one hits a stationary ball. And “you hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that the winner buys the drinks.”

It is played on a golf course. Usually, it has 18 holes. For each hole, there is a starting point called ‘Tee”; a fairway; and then a green. On way, there are the bunkers, hazards and roughs. The lesser the number of strokes that you make in putting the ball into the hole, the better.

And surely, it is a very good game. For everyone. The adolescent, adult and the aged. It is played in green and open surroundings.  It gives good exercise to the body and provides a complete diversion for the mind. Takes one totally away from the day’s drudgery. Relaxes the body and the mind alike.

            In the 80s I used to play golf fairly regularly. I shall be less than honest if I do not admit that it was lot of fun and that I thoroughly enjoyed the game. People of all ages play this game. There are interesting stories too. You may have heard or read some.   I quote one:

“Great grandfather had been playing golf whenever possible for over 78 years. Today had been no exception. He was out early and played his 18.

Directly after golf he attended his great, great grandson’s wedding.

During the reception he was conversing with his great, great grandson, giving advice on happy marriage and a great life.

After a while the young groom said ‘Grandfather what is it like making love when you reach your age?’

And he replied, ‘Well, it is kinda like putting with a rope.”

            Another one.

            “A toothless old man greeted the doctor and announced that he was getting married. “Why? At your age? If you must, please keep some help at home,” was the doctor’s mandate.

A year later, the old man was on the course and frantically waving to the doctor. On reaching closer, he announced – ‘She is expecting.’               

The doctor asked – “Did you heed my advice and keep a help at home?”

The response was prompt. ‘Yes! I did. But she too is in the family way.’

            One more? Sure! Yes.

‘In 1923, do you know who was: 

* President of the largest steel company? 
* President of the largest gas company?
* The greatest wheat speculator?
* President of the Bank of International Settlement?
* The Great Bear of Wall Street? 
* President of the New York Stock Exchange?

These men should have been considered some of the world's most successful men. At least, they found the secret of making money.

Now almost 80 years later, do you know what became of these men?

* Charles Schwab, president of the largest steel company, died a pauper.
* Edward Hopson, president of the largest gas company, went insane.
* Arthur Cooger, the greatest wheat speculator, died abroad, penniless. 
* Cosabee Livermore, president of the BIS, shot himself 
* The Great Bear of Wall Street, committed suicide 
* Richard Whitney, NYSE president released from prison to die at home

In that same year, 1923, Gene Sarazen won most of the important golf championships, including both the US Open and PGA Championship. 
He played golf until he was 92 and died in 1999 at the age of 95... 
and was financially solvent at his death.

Conclusion: Stop worrying about business and start playing more golf!”

And pl. be sure, the following story should encourage you -

“Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.”#

#Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/golfjokes/golfjokes.html

The stock of such stories is inexhaustible. These jokes spare none. However, the male loyalty to the game exceeds even that to matrimony. No wonder, the non-playing ladies are often described as golf widows.